The bloom is off the rose. After three years of marriage, Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr have recently announced their going on separate ways. They have been married for three years (–which is probably an equivalent of 15 years in Hollywood marriage longevity) and they have been together for 6 and half years which is six months short of the seven-year-itch. I wonder what happened because as a Hollywood couple, they seemed happy and they appeared so in love. However, I was more inclined to have just shrugged my shoulders and say “Just another Hollywood marriage break-up!” Of course, the private reasons of their decision to break up will never be willingly shared to the public.
Marriage is rewarding and equally challenging. Two people who are completely in love with each other go in it with the best intentions, with fluttering eyes and melting hearts. However, the human emotions and psychology is extremely complex together with individual selfish ‘needs’ and ‘wants’ and differences that needed to be constantly dealt with whilst co-existing with someone 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. These are all the variables in a ‘marriage equation’ (–Yes, I am coining a new phrase) I bet even the eccentric Einsteins of the world will never know how to formulate a solution to solve the marriage equation.
In my a decade and a half of being married (–and 20 years of being in this relationship); here are the main contributing factors that I think makes a married life challenging:
Number 1: The emotionally exhausting and physically tiring demands of raising kids (–If you have one…or two, you know exactly what I mean)
Number 2: The unavoidable burden of financial commitments (–Mortgage, private school fees, bills and more bills)
Number 3: The question of monogamy and temptations of infidelity (–Just ask Tiger Woods, I’m sure he could explain it articulately!)
Number 4: The in-laws (Need I say more? Disclaimer: I am not talking from my own experience, okay?)
Number 5: The stress that goes with the chosen individual careers to pay for point number 2
Number 6: Anything else miscellaneous or perhaps important factors that didn’t go in Point numbers 1 to 5 (–For example: Diminishing sex drives resulting from Point numbers 1, 2, and 5) Shall I go on? I think you get the message.
Staying happily married ever after is incredibly difficult (–That is an understatement) and it is an ongoing journey for both parties. Solving the current US financial crisis seems to be a much easier undertaking. The box-office romantic comedy movies and happily ever after Disney Princess fairy-tales certainly paint different stories. The thick line between fantasy and reality is seldom visible to some. The departure of the wedding car from the wonderful wedding is definitely not the end of the love story.
Some marriage break-ups are inevitable for all sorts of sensible and incomprehensible reasons which are really none of anyone’s business but solely the wounded parties. Unless you have walked in the couple’s dilapidated shoes and have lived their jaded lives, one has no God-given right to judge. And if you are in contemplation or already in that inevitable predicament, always remember that life is too short to be unhappy not even for your own kids! The kids will grow up and will attempt to find their own ‘happily ever after’ story and when that happens, where are you going to be?